Tuesday, May 21, 2013

When Friendships Evolve

We've all been there, that place in between friends and aquantinces, the place where friendships fizzle and burn out. I've learned that as I get older some friendships start to fizzle out, not because of anything one person has done but they've just run their course...the emails are shorter, the texts rare, and the phone calls fewer and far between. There is nothing wrong with this, this is life and people move on. I am still "friends" with people on Facebook even after our "real life" friendship has fizzled and I think that is great, I still care about my friends and it's nice to be able to check in every once in awhile.

But what do you do when you purposefully end a friendship? When other relationships are affected? Well from what I've learned these are more like divorces. If you end a friendship with someone you must also end it with siblings and relatives. In pretty much all cases this type of evolvement is painful yet necesseary. You could stay mad for years or be at peace with your decision but the pain of ending a friendship that you thought would last is still there.

Friendship is a funny thing...it has many definitions and people want different things from friendships. I know I have friends that I might not talk to daily but I know would be there for me no matter what, no questions asked...and me for them. Then there are the friends I talk to on a regular basis, they are still there for me but they are also my source laughter and my source for venting. Am I the best friend, no, I don't like talking on the phone, I don't send a million emails, I am not that girl. But I love my friends fiercly and would do anything for them...and there lies the problem...

Sometimes I give too many chances to friends, let them walk on me one too many times. Only usually after a last straw situation will I break and be hit in the face by reality. This happened to me recently and man it hurt and then after about 2 hours it didn't...I was at peace it turns out because deep down I knew that this friendship was over, there wasn't a mean text sent just a simple one stating that the friendship was broken and had been for a long time and that I wished them the best and that was it, done, door closed.

I am sure this won't be my last evolution of a friendship, but I sure do hope those fizzle out rather than have to be cut out.

1 comment:

  1. I feel ya on this one sister. I recently just went through (and am still going through) this myself. I was hurt VERY BADLY by someone I thought to be my 'best' friend. In seperating myself from her, I have decided that what was once there is not anymore. And that was the choice she made when she hurt me. Me or the 'action'. It's hard. I miss her. But I do know that it's the right thing for me at this time. I pray that you find peace. I know it's a hard time to lose someone you thought would be there forever. But, cling to family. To Jesus. They'll never let you down!


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